 | | | Why does he like that blonde b*tch?
My roommate is a gorgeous, scary smart, super fun, blond haired, blue eyed b*tch. I might add that you are not allowed to call her that; only I am.
I frequently invite her to attend South Asian events just to see the ruckus that she causes. Without fail every man in the place instinctively turns towards her and seeks her company. Why is that? At first I thought it was because she’s beautiful, but let’s be honest there are tons of super hot brown chicks out there. Tons.
And I’m not so hard on the eyes myself; so why is it that when we walk to the coffee shop together, the cute brown guy in our building smiles at her? Perhaps it’s the perkiness that cheerleading camps must force upon every college cheerleader that bless their dorms. Still my striking older sister, who wore the sacred uniform herself, could never turn the heads of brown men like my roomie.
The poor thing isn’t even interested in dating these adorably geeky or devastatingly smart or super charismatic russet colored men. I am. The eternal friend, she steers these well meaning candidates towards me to help me snag a guy of my own. To their credit, they usually talk to me for at least one full minute before glancing longingly towards the blondness that is walking away from them.
In all fairness, I am the complete opposite of my fair faced friend. Dark eyes, Dark hair, dark skin, dark personality. I can’t imagine a world where anyone would use the word “perky” to describe me. She was a parents dream child and I, a devil child.
So is it the blonde hair and blue eyes, or is it something more?
I’m a Barbie girl… in a desi world…
First off, my beautiful brown friend is far, far too kind. But “All-American” is not the adorable label that some people think it is. Frankly, it is boring. And given that she and her Desi friends have been incredibly welcoming and happy to introduce a groupie like me to South Asian culture, I think you ladies have it way better. Everyone at NetIP mixers are fun, smart, well-educated, cultured, and professionally driven. I feel like I have more in common with the people I meet there than I would at my own high school reunion.
Have you ever googled “world’s most beautiful woman?” Guess who comes up in the first result? Aishwarya Rai. Not Reese Witherspoon. And who can argue with that? I envy the exotic good looks of my friends and wish I looked more like them than a corn-fed, farm-raised white girl. Plus, have you not seen how badly most white women age? We all eventually will look like Mickey Rooney. It is inescapable.
My darling friend’s point is a valid one. But the reason any brown guy likes blondes is the same reason Jewish boys like shiksas; they know, deep down, that this chick standing in front of them is not wife material.
How often have any of us found ourselves at total ease when speaking with a member of the opposite sex because you know you have absolutely zero real interest in them romantically? You are totally disarmed, relaxed, and utterly yourself. However, the second you are placed in front of a man or woman who could actually be a potential mate? Forget it. We either clam up or start chattering uncontrollably. Neither is a huge turn-on.
I can’t speak for all of my white brethren here, and I have many a friend whose family would flip out if he or she married someone who wasn’t Jewish/Italian/trust-funder/whatever. Whenever preservation of culture is an issue with a family, things can get dicey. But generally, marrying someone of my same skin color, culture, or background has never been a concern of mine. I wouldn’t say white women aren’t interested in brown guys, but many of us just realize that dating one would be an exercise in futility. I’ll probably end up marrying a white guy, but that is because A) statistics tell me I will, and B) that is who is interested in me. No brown guy actually wants to marry me! He probably just wants to be distracted by something fun and shiny until he is ready to meet his eventual wife… namely, you.
Of course, I can’t speak for all of the men and women out there. And hey, if many people have gotten to a point where they can marry whomever they want, and are all able to see past cultural differences and see only a person to love, then who can argue with that? | | | | Mona is an HR professional working in Philadelphia and helping one manager at a time. She enjoys dancing, reading, martial arts, and good conversations. Alison is Mona's roomate. | | |
