 | | | "27 years of age, Telugu, Brahmin, successful engineer, completed undergraduate and graduate studies at Ivy League schools, family-oriented, tall, fair, handsome, kind…” It goes on and on.
You become captivated by the description. You examine the pictures, imagining how you’ll look next to him. You eagerly await the first e-mail, the first phone call. After hearing his voice, you’re convinced that this is it. This is the guy for you.
You finally meet, wearing your new outfit, running your fingers through your blown-out hair, sneak a peek in the reflection of anything shiny to make sure your makeup is immaculate. You look at every stranger walking by, wondering when he’ll arrive. He finally does
And…no butterflies. No spark. The guy sitting across from you, whose resúmé you’ve fallen in halfway in love with, could be just another stranger on the street you pass with no consequence.
There is neither rhyme nor reason to explain whom we spark with and whom we don’t. Sometimes it’s frustrating, and sometimes it’s a relief to actually be able to use the line “I’m sorry, I’m just not that into you."
That’s what makes the sparks so special—they’re rare.
Which makes it all the more painful when you find someone great who gives you the butterflies…and he doesn’t feel the same. That sucks. Hardcore.
Let’s face it though—if we sparked with everyone we met, the world would be a huge lovefest, putting it mildly. If we felt a deep physical, emotional, and mental connection that comes with falling for someone who’s also aces in the “good on paper” factor, we’d be done for in our late teens/early 20s. Mix those emotions with the fickle nature of that age demographic, and we have more than an increased divorce rate to worry about. In the immortal words of Patti Stanger (the Millionaire Matchmaker), “no hanky panky unless you’re in a serious, committed relationship. And be real—generally speaking, how serious are college kids anyway?
Moral of the story—use the sparks and your common sense as a barometer the next time you’re out with friends, on a date, or contemplating your future with your significant other. Sparks or “good on paper” factor will not make a lasting relationship alone. So go ahead and meet that dorky doctor your mother is begging for you to meet…you never know when sparks are going to fly. | | | | Hitha now calls Philadelphia home, having moved around the country throughout her life and moving back to PA for the third time in 2007. After graduating from the University of Washington in 206 with degrees in Biochemistry and History, she began her career with Cisco Systems as an account manager, supporting pharmaceutical companies in the tri-state area. | | |
