since women got out of the cave and said ‘This isn’t so hard’.”

---Samantha Jones, Sex and the City

“Single, Desi Woman” - it's a loaded phrase. Thirty years ago, it had a negative connotation, igniting family and friends, left and right, to arrange meetings with “suitable gentlemen” for the woman. Regardless of the woman’s personal feelings. Fast forward to today – it’s common to meet these single women in cities worldwide; however, women are not shy to speak up about their feelings, and they do not feel the pressure to be in relationships.  Desi and non-Desi…being “single” does not necessarily equate to being “undesirable” anymore.

Age is just a number to women, it really is.  One thing that hasn’t changed in thirty years is that family and family friends feel the need to rub age in a single woman’s face. They take it upon themselves to remind one that she’s single, just like an alarm clock on snooze mode. New flash – I’m sure that a woman is fully aware that she is single. She probably doesn’t need to be reminded that her friends are in a relationship. Trying to find someone to spend the rest of one’s life with should not be rushed now.

So why do women want to be single? There are three aspects of life why, I believe, most women are single - and all the reasons and excuses are dumbed down to fall underneath at least one of these three categories:

1) Career (and the financial independence that comes from it): “I travel too much for work”; “I’m in law school”; “I’m saving up for a down payment on a house”; “I work odd hours”…

2) Social Life: Contrary to popular belief, not all Desi women go out to bars and clubs. Women can pay for their own nights out of dinner and drinks, without any extra help. A woman could be training for the Ironman Triathon and doesn’t have time to go out and date. A woman may plan to work abroad and is not looking for a relationship. A woman can date multiple people because she’s not ready to settle down.

3) Personal attitude: Optimistic and hopeful that Mr. Perfect exists out there? Pessimistic and cynical that Mr. Perfect does not exist? Still heartbroken from the past? Or maybe just of touch with reality?

Will there ever be a dealbreaker? Of course. As a single and very busy woman living in the Washington, DC area, I meet people all the time, but it doesn’t mean that I meet “the right man” for me all the time. I know that deep down, I’m a hopeless romantic waiting for a special someone that I am more than willing to break my very busy routine for. This side of me won’t be on full display. This side won’t be shown by most single women. We do believe that happiness provided by a companion is out there.  But until then, the strides of single and independent women cannot be broken that easily.